


Thermos

by missdibley



Series: The Red Nose Diaries [56]
Category: British Actor RPF, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Brexit, Election 2016 - Freeform, F/M, Suggestive language, dabble, the jerk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-31 00:19:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8555335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missdibley/pseuds/missdibley
Summary: It's not Tom who has a cold this time, but Carmen.





	

“They’re gonna make you cut your hair, aren’t they?”

“They might do, yes.”

“Why?”

“I reckon it’s because of the occasion, the formality.”

“And you’re giving Kenny an award.”

“Why do you call him Kenny?”

“I think it’s funny.”

“It’s not  _ that _ funny.”

“What about Sir Kenny?”

“I’ll run that by him.”

“So you’re presenting. There will be pictures. You in a tuxedo. Looking hot as fuck.”

“Well, I don’t know abou—”

“HOT AS FUCK.”

“Don’t yell. Your throat.”

“Ugh.”

“Good girl.”

“Stupid election making me sick.”

“I’m sorry, Button.”

“I’m going to be sick for the next four years, buddy.”

“I hope that isn’t true.”

“Is this what it felt like?”

“Like what felt like?”

“Is this how you felt after Brexit?”

“Not quite.”

“Tom.”

“Carmen.”

“Please tell me you voted in that election, and that you voted Remain.”

“Of course I did.”

“Thank you.”

“At least, I think I did.”

“You don’t remember?”

“Well, June was…”

“Ah. Right. Oh my… Jesus, really?!”

“What?”

“The Human Pool Noodle wouldn’t even let you vote? You were disenfranchised by the Voldemort of popular music?”

“I wouldn’t go so far as…”

“DISENFRANCHISED.”

“I thought we said no yelling.”

“Maybe  _ you _ did.”

“The car will be here soon to take me to the stylist’s hotel, so this is for you.”

“It’s a thermos.”

“Yes, darling.”

“I know it was romantic when Steve Martin wrote that thermos song in  _ The Jerk _ , but I don’t know…”

“Something for your sore throat, dearest.”

“Soup? Tea?”

“Well, yes. Bespoke tea, made just for us.”

“Aw.”

“Chamomile, mint, licorice…”

“Wait…”

“Rose hips to make it sweet, with a lavender top note.”

“You didn’t.”

“I did.”

“[The Hot Tommy](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6122053)  is real?”

“Yes, my love.”

“Are you going to help me drink it, like you said?”

“As much as I’d love to, hold you and touch you while you, ah, ‘coat your throat,’ I do still have this ceremony to attend this evening.”

“Boo.”

“But if you’re a good girl, and you drink it all, and you actually go to bed at a decent hour tonight, then…”

“Then what?”

“Dr. Tom will be happy to check you in the morning.”

“Oh.”

“Using my special thermometer.”

“Do you take NHS?”

“I don’t, but rest assured, lovely, you will be able to pay my bill. In hefty installments. Over a lengthy period of time.”

“You know...”

“Was stroking my cock while I said ‘lengthy’ a bit too much?”

“No.”

“Ah. I love you.”

“Love you. Good night, doctor.”

“Good night, Carmen.”


End file.
